1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

Doctor's outlook on diets....JOD

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by bigdogtx, Sep 24, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. bigdogtx

    bigdogtx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    10,650
    Doctor

    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?



    A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it.... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.





    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?



    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.





    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?



    A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain... Bottoms up!





    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?



    A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.





    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?



    A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain....Good!





    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?



    A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?





    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?



    A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.





    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?



    A: You crazy? HELLO¦ Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!





    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?



    A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.





    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?



    A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!





    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.



    AND.....



    For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:



    1. The Japanese eat very little fat

    And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



    2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

    And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



    3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

    And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



    4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine

    And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



    5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats

    And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.



    CONCLUSION



    Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
     
  2. Remstar311

    Remstar311 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    942
    I need a referal to this doctor.
     
  3. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,450
    My neighbor's cows ate the marijuana plants that he had growing in the field.
     
  4. Carol Lister

    Carol Lister TS Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Messages:
    490
    <blockquote>"The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.</blockquote>

    ...that certainly makes sense, but the twice as many Japanese as Americans die from artery disease and 6 times as many die from stomach cancer.

    <blockquote>"The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans."

    "The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans."</blockquote>

    ...but twice as many of each die from artery disease, 3 times as many from stomach cancer and twice as many from liver disease as Americans.

    The Mexicans don't publish records and there are too many Chinese to include in the study.

    Carol Lister
     
  5. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,049
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Please send me your Doctors name
     
  6. ismah

    ismah Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2008
    Messages:
    517
    BIGDOGTURD: Want to know how to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat?
     
  7. H82MIS

    H82MIS TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,052
    Hey bigdog,,our resident muslim thinks he's funny,,,,,,,,,,,haaaaaaaa,,
     
  8. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    Well, I sure ain't going to be one a them there Japs that dies from eating puffer fish.
     
  9. Kolarpole

    Kolarpole Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2007
    Messages:
    452
    Location:
    Penna
    Recurvyarcher..............Try to get me 3 gallon of MILK from your neighbor when milkin time comes...............Thanks........RUN'EM
     
  10. bigdogtx

    bigdogtx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    10,650
    Carol,,,,JOD means Joke Of the Day,,,,or have you lost your sense of humor????

    ishmah,,,,castration is not something I would like to go through,,,,but I see you lost your 10 pounds (probably closer to 1 1/2) when you had your encephalectomy,,,,
     
  11. H82MIS

    H82MIS TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,052
    ish, how's your chiaobama growing???? hope your watering it regularly,,,
     
  12. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    740
    Carol has no sense, humor or otherwise. My humble opinion. Richard
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.