1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

Do you like shopping at wal-Mart with your wife ?

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Apr 11, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,675
    Location:
    West Central Florida
    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
    Dear Mrs. Samsel,
    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
    1 June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2 July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals

    3 July 7:Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

    5 August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6 August 14:Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

    7 August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

    8 August 23:When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10:While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3:Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. October 6:In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18:Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. October 21:When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
    And last, but not least

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
     
  2. yenko

    yenko TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    221
    thats great i needed a laugh.
     
  3. BustClays

    BustClays Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    437
    On a more serious note, we all should accompany our spouses to Wal-Mart. At least here in Florida Wal-Mart parking lots seem to attract all types of preditors, from purse snatchers to rapists. Even in "broad daylight!" I will not allow my wife to go to Wal-Mart alone. Preditors know that many women shop alone and will be easy prey. So unless you have something else important to do, like shooting or reloading, you should accompany your spouse on her Wal-Mart excursion.

    bustclays
     
  4. Bob Schultz

    Bob Schultz Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,749
    Location:
    Tuxedo NC
    I would rather have a root canal done than go "shopping" with anyone, including my lovely wife>

    Bob Schultz
     
  5. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2007
    Messages:
    11,675
    Location:
    West Central Florida
    Bob, is that with or without novacaine?
     
  6. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    8,371
    My wife says going to WalMart with me is more like an adventure than a shopping trip and she does not like to go because I check out every isle just in case they changed things around since the last time I was there ... I always say if WalMart don't have it, you probably don't need it ... WPT ... (YAC) ...
     
  7. BRGII

    BRGII TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    740
    Wal-Mart, short bus academy. BRGII
     
  8. spitter

    spitter Well-Known Member TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    4,362
    Location:
    Prairie State
    Real men don't need Novacaine!
     
  9. chessney

    chessney TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    644
    I've got a buddy that gets cavitys filled without novacain.He says the needle hurts more then the drill. I say he's just one shell short of a full box..Ziggy
     
  10. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,854
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    BustClays...you need to take 2 cars and your favorite big bore 6 shot perferation device...just follow your wife and stay close just in case...I call that the ultimate spot and stalk varmint hunt...and your wife will get over being used as bait....eventually
     
  11. BustClays

    BustClays Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    437
    Thanks CalvinMD, it sounds like a win, win for us and a big time lose for the bad guys.

    bustclays
     
  12. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,450
    I hate shopping, too. ESPECIALLY if it's a mall or a Walmart.

    Now take me to Dick's, Tractor Supply, a tool store, or a thrift store and I'll totally lose track of time
     
  13. Dr.Longshot

    Dr.Longshot Banned Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,722
    I like to go to Wall Mart and sit on a bench and watch people, you will be suprised what you see.

    Dr.longshot
     
  14. slide action

    slide action Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    4,918
    bustclays, Don't know what part of FL you're in, but in NW FL the jerk would probably get shot about 30 times before he made the street! In that neck of the woods there are more guns in pick ups in the Wal Mart parking lot than in the local National Guard Amory! --As for me I don't consider "shopping" a sport. It's get in, get what you need, and get out.
     
  15. Dave P

    Dave P TS Supporters TS Supporters

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,512
    Location:
    Canton, Il.
    I go with my wife sometimes but only check out sporting goods and tools. After about ten minutes I go to the coffee shop and look. Doc you're right , the sights are sometimes amazing and totally entertaining.
     
  16. richrob

    richrob TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    335
    Gotta love Super WalMart, 4 years in college its the only place I shopped. Hell I even boght my first gun there, Remington 870 supermag combo. I guess I can blame them for my current addiction.

    On another note, a few of those things might keep me occupied in the future while with the girlfriend. -Rich
     
  17. Bob Schultz

    Bob Schultz Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,749
    Location:
    Tuxedo NC
    OH novocaine is a must for a root canal ... I'm a bit deranged but not enough to to endure that kind of pain.

    rmy...give me a call I might have a gun for you...and I don't shop for shotguns in Walmart. But I have been known to shoot Wally world shells when they get stupid and put them on sale cheap!'

    Bob Schultz
     
  18. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,057
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Thanks for the laugh very creative stunts, best i could come up with was shopping cart races but that takes draging the brotherinlaw to the store with me.
     
  19. JBrooks

    JBrooks TS Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    3,707
    I would never go to Walmart with my wife. She might find out how much I spend on shells.

    PS Love that cheap commie slave labor. Keeps our prices down. lol
     
  20. BDodd

    BDodd TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,594
    I really enjoy going shopping with the wife BUT, oddly enough, it seems like every time she wants me to go, I have an appointment to gouge out an eye with a popcicle stick and I'd sure hate to miss that...<;-)....Bob Dodd
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.