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Divorce...Political?

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by bigdogtx, Feb 21, 2009.

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  1. bigdogtx

    bigdogtx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    10,650
    Got this in an email. Surprised it came from a young man,,,,sounds good to me!!!!


    "Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:


    We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.


    Here is a model separation agreement:


    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.


    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).


    We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .


    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.


    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.


    We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.


    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.


    We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.


    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


    Sincerely,

    John J. Wall
    Law Student and an American

    P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you,"
     
  2. m-man

    m-man TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2009
    Messages:
    20
    Wow, a lot of Ad Hominem's and Non sequitur's in there,

    I love this part: "We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism..."

    firstly Humanism is not a religion, and of course, Islam and Scientology, those are crazy, but Christianity (built out of the same stories as judism and islam) that one is the right one. lol,


    Scientology: aliens and magic volcanoes


    Islam: treats women worse than any other religion


    Christianity: talking snakes and magic fruit


    Humanism: The responsibility for out lives, and our world is ours and ours alone, enjoy being human and try to help others.

    which one is not like the other?

    if your ever bored, look up the differences between Jesus/Horus/Krishna...there are none
     
  3. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    Humanism...isn't that wacky-terbacky, phoney-baloney, plastic banana new age crap?


    I thought so.
     
  4. m-man

    m-man TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2009
    Messages:
    20
    plastic banana, lol, awesome

    no actually new age is completely different, think of crystals, special healing herbs, cleaning the 'toxins', astrology, and alternative medicine.

    humanism is just an ethical philosophy that affirms the dignity and worth of all people, it appeals to universal human qualities, particularly rationality, and critical thinking.
     
  5. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    Exactly...wacky-terbacky, granola-eating, touchie-feelie, feel-good crapola.


    I knew it!
     
  6. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    15,638
    Location:
    Green Bay Wisconsin
    I had an acquaintance that died from alternative medicine.

    He would only go to an acupuncturist some 100 plus miles away.

    His teeth killed him, infected and it spread to his blood supply.

    They found him dead sitting in front of his TV.

    I don't know what he was watching. Oprah or Dr. Phil probably.

    m-man is on the Kool-Aid again.

    HM
     
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