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divorce agreement

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Willus, Mar 4, 2009.

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  1. Willus

    Willus TS Member

    Feb 19, 2006
    Dear American Liberals, leftists, and Obama supporters.
    We have stuck together since the late 1950's but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerate eachmother for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. we can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
    Here is a modle separation agreement:
    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we will take our firearms, the cops, and the NRA and the military. You keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell.
    We will keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical co., Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and all illegal aliens. We will keep greedy CEO's and rednecks. We will keep the Bilbles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we will retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we will help provide them security.
    We will keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon. We will keep our Judo- Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bills.
    You can give healthcare to everyone. We will continue to belive healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We will keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. You can have I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing and We are the World.
    We will practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we will keep our history, our name and our flag.
    In the spirit of friendly parting, I will bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help will need whose help in 15 years.
  2. Finprof

    Finprof TS Member

    May 9, 2007
    Would it be OK if I keep my Subaru station wagon?
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