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======== Divorce Agreement =======

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Jerbear, Aug 27, 2010.

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  1. Jerbear

    Jerbear TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,588
    Divorce Agreement

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
    Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the
    kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me
    realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for
    many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this
    relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever
    agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly
    terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences
    and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:
    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass
    each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but
    I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After
    that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives
    can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such
    distinct and disparate tastes.

    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
    welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and
    war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the
    military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go
    with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore
    and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a
    bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

    We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
    companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
    lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys,
    hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan
    hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and
    give you NBC and Hollywood .

    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
    right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have
    the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of
    life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
    Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain.
    You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.
    You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
    doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
    right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The
    National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine",
    "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

    We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to
    give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name
    and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
    like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not
    agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet
    you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely,

    John J. Wall

    Law Student and an American

    P. S.

    Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda...as well as Alec Baldwin, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, ... and PLEASE? Mr. Obama and his lovely wife, Michelle, with you!!

    P. S. S.

    And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

    Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe
    Some Of It Will Start Sinking In.
     
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