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Divorce agreement that makes sense!....

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Bob Schultz, Aug 17, 2010.

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  1. Bob Schultz

    Bob Schultz Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    DIVORCE AGREEMENT

    THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! VERY WELL SPOKEN!!

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:
    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and bio diesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
    We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, home boys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.
    We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
    We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
    Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely,
    John J. Wall
    Law Student and an American
    P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
    P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

    Forward This Every Time You Get It! Let's Keep This Going. Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In.
     
  2. highflyer

    highflyer TS Member

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    If only it were true. Unfortunately liberals insist on taking us down with them. That is the very core of liberalism, share the misery. Destroy anything good and promote anything bad. It is not by accident that libs are wrong on every issue, it is by their own self-destructive design. Liberalism is a disease that destroys that eats it's own.
     
  3. missed some

    missed some TS Member

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  4. porky

    porky TS Member

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    Only a liberal has all the answers. I you don't believe me, just listen to one a answer a question that was never asked of them. They will tell you volumes about what they know nothing about and produce scores of twisted research. Everything that they read about from within their inner city apartments concerning rural living for example. It obvious that they are our saviors for all future problems.
     
  5. slic lee

    slic lee Active Member

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    There's gotta be a way to get er done
     
  6. Bob Merkov

    Bob Merkov Member

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    Thanks for passing this along, Bob!
     
  7. Finprof

    Finprof TS Member

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    Please let me keep my Subaru station wagon. I really like it and it really isn't a "lefty" car like a SAAB or a Volvo, but I have noticed that it is usually the only one at the gun club. For what it's worth, the two most "conservative" cars are BMW and Porsche.
     
  8. PerazziBigBore

    PerazziBigBore TS Member

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    Well spoken..
     
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