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Democratic Convention Schedule

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Kimball, Jul 26, 2012.

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  1. Kimball

    Kimball TS Member

    Oct 13, 2007
    Democratic Convention Schedule

    2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule - Charlotte, N.C.

    4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN

    4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

    4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama.

    4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama.

    4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton

    4:45 PM –Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”

    5:00 PM – “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime Travel Log” - Michelle Obama.

    5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite

    5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Nancy Pelosi

    6:00 PM – Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat’s
    appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

    8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons

    9:00 PM – “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

    9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore

    9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangle

    10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers.

    10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan

    11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies

    11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally

    11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards

    11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish Obama Presiding

    12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews

    12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior

    12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing

    3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech
  2. grnberetcj

    grnberetcj Active Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    I miss the ones with all the Teddy Kennedy drunken toasts.....

  3. rpeerless

    rpeerless Well-Known Member

    Dec 4, 2009
    Clicked on this for the he## of it just to see. There's nothing like good satire. LOL
  4. 391 shooter

    391 shooter Well-Known Member

    Jun 3, 2008
    Makes perfectly good sense to me, sounds appropriate under current conditions.
  5. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Now, folks...we all knew there would come a day when there would be a Democrat Convention without Teddy. But, fortunately for us, the people in charge take the long view, and have been preparing for this for some time now.

    We think you'll be pleased with the following roster changes:

    Drunken Kennedy Toast #1 will be supplanted by Elizabeth Warren's "Native American Dance Revue" (now, I can see the eyes roll when you hear "Native American Dance," but...hey, Nevada is an important swing state. And Obama's 10th grade History book said there are Indians there. And it's _his_ name on the mailbox, after all, so...the organizers are taking a chance).

    DK Toast #2 was scheduled for Anthony Wiener...but he pulled out. Instead, you Legal Eagles will get Eliot "Client #9" Spitzer's "RICO, Interstate Commerce Clause, and The Mann Act - What it Could Mean for You."

    And it doesn't stop there. DKTs 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 will be covered by the following slate of star presenters:

    ***Hillary Clinton's slides from Egypt ("Monica!")

    ***"Financial Strategies for the New Normal," by John Corzine and William "Cold Cash" Jefferson (worth the price of admission by itself).

    ***Al Gore's "Reducing Your Carbon Footprint, One Degree, in One Heated Swimming Pool at a Time" (a real hit with the 1%)

    ***Dennis Kucinich's Farewell Address to Congress (taped statement from his commune in Ohio, edited for brevity)

    ***Jerry Brown's heartfelt appeal, "It's Halftime in Sacramento" (and we know California Dreams don't come cheap, folks, so please...dig out those checkbooks and give 'till it hurts)

    ...and many, many more.

    Nothing has been overlooked, folks! It's "On Like a Donkey's Dong" in North Carolina. In the words of Archie Bunker - "Now that's what I call a Balanced Ticket!"
  6. bigdogtx

    bigdogtx Well-Known Member

    Aug 5, 2006
    Don't forget the symposium sponsored by Lego so you can "Learn to Build it Yourself".....
  7. timberfaller

    timberfaller Well-Known Member

    Feb 24, 2007
    Eastern Washington
    Don't forget about the hotdog eating contest, hosted by Barry Franks!
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