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Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? How to tell

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by OLD ONE EYE, May 11, 2009.

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  1. OLD ONE EYE

    OLD ONE EYE Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,253
    Location:
    Florida / Idaho
    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes
    around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
    Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have
    mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think? What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock t he knife out of
    his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
    this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
    me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
    while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
    happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing!

    I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a
    consensus.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Redneck's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
    (sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ...

    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
    or Hollow Points?"

    Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"

    Wife: "You are NOT taking that to the taxidermist!"
     
  2. Big Az Al

    Big Az Al Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    1,297
    Location:
    near Tucson Trap
    answered this one once,

    now I am wondering who is asking?

    Always heard it was a lib/dem/dum way, asking the same question over and over agian.

    Then comparing were the punctuation marks differ to call a conservitive a liar!

    Al
     
  3. Sgt. Mike

    Sgt. Mike TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    301
    Very good. Michael
     
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