1. Attention: We have put together a thread with tips and a tutorial video to help with using the new software. Please take a moment to check out the thread here: Trapshooters.com Tutorial & Help Video.
    Dismiss Notice

Dear Liberals, I want a divorce....

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Brian in Oregon, Apr 3, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    25,254
    Location:
    Deplorable Bitter Clinger in Liberal La La Land
    I want a divorce..good read

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms.... We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:

    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah , Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

    We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine , and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain . You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a service and we take care of those who can not work! We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. We'll keep Christmas and Easter and you can celebrate Kwanzaa, MLK, or any other holiday that you wish to create.

    We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely,

    John J. Wall<br>
    Law Student and an American

    P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda
     
  2. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    Play tape-recorded answer:


    "Yah, go ahead, and we'll keep all the universities, and the corporate headquarters, and the zip codes where 89% of all venture capital is raised and spent...and you can keep Sarah Palin, a few mountains, and the county where Deliverance was filmed."


    Push tape to repeat:


    "Yah, go ahead, and we'll keep...
     
  3. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    25,254
    Location:
    Deplorable Bitter Clinger in Liberal La La Land
    The corporate headquarters who are sending all the jobs overseas and laying off massive amounts of people?

    The universities that teach socialism and communism are better than capitalism?

    And the money whores who couldn't care less about the working class as long as they can rob and plunder for profit, as they did when they helped jack oil prices to the moon with irresponsible speculation?

    Well, good luck with that.
     
  4. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    15,649
    Location:
    Green Bay Wisconsin
    I would give them most of the universities. Only a few worth keeping.

    Venture capital for the most part comes from individuals, Banks usually only bet on sure things or crooked loans which their buddies default on (passing a good part back under the table of course. See S & L scandal.)

    some of the corporate headquarters you can have: AIG, General Motors, Bear Stearns, Prudential, Shearson Lehman, Fannie and Freddie.

    Buzzie dearest, tape is passe. Ipods will soon give way to the crystal cube with all the world's information on them.

    I would like to keep 2 of the great lakes, Michigan and Superior.

    They can have the other 3.

    I want Northern Wisconsin, keep the south half.

    I'll take Southern Illinois, keep the north half.

    I'll gladly have the U. P., yoopers and all.

    I'm sure you get my drift by now.

    HM
     
  5. bigdogtx

    bigdogtx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    10,650
    Fine buzz, we'll also keep TX, TN, MO, MT, AK, OK, KY, FL, GA, AL, LA,,,,Let me know when you need some oil that your univ folks don't want and all the other things we have which you wish you had,,,,mainly balanced state budgets,,,,at least here in TX....
     
  6. Bisi

    Bisi TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,399
    bigdogtx, don't forget us in Indiana, we wanta go your way too. We'll kick out the northwest section near Chicagoland and fit in. Indiana is really a southern state, look at our voting record. Yeah we screwed up in 08 and went with Ojackass, (barely, Chicagoland fraud bleeding over) but only twice in the last 50 has this state gone Democrap for president. LBJ in 64 and Ojackass in 2008. We are ready to return to our rightful place alongside of our southern brothers. Please accept us.

    Even though Lincoln spent his boyhood years in this state, you hardly see him mentioned here. We disowned him and sent him packing to IL where they welcomed him with open arms. IL - "the land of Lincoln and other despots: Durbin, Dayley, Ojackass"
     
  7. Alamo

    Alamo Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2006
    Messages:
    97
    Bump back to the top for well written essay. Well put Brian and great answer.

    Larry Hancock
     
  8. bigdogtx

    bigdogtx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    10,650
    Bisi,,,,Ok you're in if you get rid of that bye, bye Bayh....:D
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.