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Dear Diary Iowa Winters

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by Jim101, Feb 18, 2008.

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  1. Jim101

    Jim101 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Knob Noster, Mo
    A little winter humor!!!!! Jim


    Dear Diary: Iowa Winters:


    Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Iowa. It is so beautiful

    here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a

    beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see

    the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.




    Oct. 14 - Iowa is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the

    real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude

    of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and

    yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the

    beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so

    graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on

    Earth. This must be paradise.




    Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone

    would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very

    symbol of peace and tranquility here in Iowa. I hope it snows

    soon. I love it here!




    Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful

    sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak

    tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and

    swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp,

    clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the

    snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to

    the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the

    driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I

    love it here!




    Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute

    little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love

    it here!




    Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to

    work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that

    snowplow!




    Dec. 21 - More of that white crap coming down. I've got blisters

    on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow

    driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the

    driveway. Butthead.




    Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my

    hands on the butthead who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll

    castrate him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to

    melt this crap??




    Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been

    inside since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry"

    comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows.

    Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many

    shovelfuls 10 inches is??




    Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt

    until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and

    the butt head actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a

    shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.




    Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get

    some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit

    the sob. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts

    ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you

    ask me.




    Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the

    snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak

    tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have

    cut that old piece of crap into fireplace wood when I had the

    chance.




    May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the

    whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn

    salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of

    rusted cow poop.




    May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Georgia. I can't

    imagine why anyone in their right freakin' mind would ever want to live in the

    God forsaken State of Iowa.
     
  2. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

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    Location:
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    Jim, this was a true story. They moved in next to me here in Georgia. I finally found out how they picked here. They put a snow shovel on top of the car and they kept driving south until they got to here in Blackshear, Georgia after asking someone if they know what that was on top of their car. The guy responded, no and they decided this was it. LOL Jackie B.
     
  3. jackmitch

    jackmitch TS Member

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    jim i think all iowa snowplow operators go to jerk school before they can get a cdl. i know that blade swivels i see him turn it my way just before he thinks i can see him. i'm going to start putting my snow on a trailer and when it's full i'm going to follow him home and dump the crap in his driveway.jackmitch
     
  4. Jim101

    Jim101 Active Member

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    Location:
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    Jack, I think it's a national requirement. Seems every place I've been that has any significant snow the plow operators do the same thing. It must be part of the test to see how efficiently you can block off a driveway.



    Jim
     
  5. jackmitch

    jackmitch TS Member

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    this last few snows have been nice and wet so it makes for a lot of fun(not). i do my driveway plus the 3 old ladys drives near my house. thank god for snowblowers. takes me 2 hours at that. the sick sob nails my neighbor lady(mid 80s) worse than mine. i am ready to move farther south when youngest son gets through a highschool and a year or 2 of college (3 years).s.missouri or n. ark. jackmitch
     
  6. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    It's so darned cold here in Iowa today........That I want to start driving south until I hear lawn mowers............

    High in Waterloo, Ia today................9 degrees with a high of 4 degrees tomorrow.

    High in Anchorage, Alaska is supposed to be 38 degrees. What is wrong with this picture?

    Hauxfan!
     
  7. Catpower

    Catpower Molon Labe TS Supporters

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    Location:
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    I was raised in NW Ia, moved to Texas in '80 when the economy crashed, whenever I see the weather I just look at my Texan bride, and she says "makes ya home sick doesn't it honey" And I say "NOPE!"
     
  8. Tripod

    Tripod Well-Known Member

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    Iowa man!!
    Maybe you eastern Iowa guys can "freeze" some of this cold and let it out next year at the state shoot. It usually is so hot it almost makes this fat guy sick.
     
  9. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    Location:
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    Here in Illinois you don't have to go to jerk school to get your CDL, you just make a donation to one of our jerk politicians campagin funds the CDL is a gift. Wow did I just type that out loud??
     
  10. Bigbird

    Bigbird TS Member

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    jackmitch, you can take gene from Iowa with you.
     
  11. Bocephas

    Bocephas Well-Known Member

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    You people are Wimps.Remember when they use to have good old fashion winters.
    You walked four miles to school on top of the snow drifts high as the fence.
    At night when you got home and milked the cows the milk spatters would freeze on the side of the bucket.Whan this was done you went to the coal house and cob bin to bring in for the pot belly stove.

    PS. never walked the four miles,but did all the rest.

    Bo
     
  12. g7777777

    g7777777 TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    going to 4 below tonight- snow and windchill of 30 below

    regards from the great state of Iowa

    Gene
     
  13. GunDr

    GunDr Well-Known Member

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    Gene,

    Wish WE were getting your heat wave. Suppose to be -30 tonight...wind chill, bbrrrr -50.

    For a long time, I didn't pay much attention to wind chill until a few weeks ago we were pushing the wind chill to -40. Heck many times I've gone ice fishing at a -20 wind chill. But this -40 and -50 crap........I can't wear enough to keep warm.
     
  14. g7777777

    g7777777 TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Wow to Minn

    regards from steamy Iowa

    Gene
     
  15. slowdp

    slowdp TS Member

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    I mowed Saturday. Never hurt my back shoveling water. Not looking forward to July, August and September either. Heat is better than cold for me though. It is hard to shoot with the sweat in your eyes and bugs flying around biting you every second. You got 3 months you don't like no matter where you live.

    Live there - bitch about the winter. Live here - bitch about the summer.

    Can you believe it is so hot here we cannot plant in the summer? the garden goes in about November and again about the end of Feb. Hell, the water is so hot in the summer we catch pre-cooked frogs.
     
  16. 6913F

    6913F TS Member

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    Sounds like you whiners that get your drive plowed back in need to be nicer to the plow driver. Wave to him with all fingers instead of one. You are only asking for it if you blow the snow from your drive back onto the road!

    OH! DID I MENTION THAT I DRIVE A PLOW FOR THE COUNTY!

    Larry S.

    P.S. Hey jackmitch, I sure wish I plowed your road!
     
  17. jimx200

    jimx200 Member

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    Catpower, I grew up N/W Iowa (Hawarden) and remember those Iowa winters well. During the late 50's and 60's, there was not a better place to be a kid...pee wee baseball, no theft of any kind, fishing, hunting, swimming the creeks, rivers, selling bait as a kid to make $, Sunday drives in the country, oh and lots of ice skating. We moved back to California in the 1972 and now just visit the family farm and take a few deer and pheasants...great memories.
     
  18. tomk2

    tomk2 Member

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    The last snowfall, I waited until the snowplow came by and made that nice little heap at the end of the driveway. However, the plow driver saw me waiting, and saw me fire up the snow blower before he turned off my street. The scoundrel came back in half an hour and smiled at me as I was putting away my snow blower.
     
  19. mayfield

    mayfield Member

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    Location:
    Decatur, IllInois
    My wife and I drove from Des Moines to Illinois this past Monday. Between
    Des Moines and Davenport we counted 234 vehicles stuck/wreaked alongside Interstate 80. Central Illinois winters look much better now.
     
  20. 6913F

    6913F TS Member

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    Here's the training video that we have to watch before we get to drive a county snow plow.

    Larry S
     
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