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Dead Penguins

Discussion in 'Politics, Elections & Legislation' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Jan 25, 2013.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

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    Interesting......

    Dead Penguins - I never knew this!

    Did you ever wonder why there are no
    dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
    Where do they go?

    Wonder no more ! !
    It is a known fact that the penguin is a
    very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely
    ordered and complex life. The penguin is very
    committed to its family and will mate for life,
    as well as maintain a form of compassionate
    contact with its offspring throughout its life.

    If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface,
    other members of the family and social circle
    have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their
    vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep
    enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and
    buried.

    The male penguins then gather in a circle
    around the fresh grave and sing:

    "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
    "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

    You really didn't believe that I know anything
    about penguins, did you?

    It's so easy to fool OLD people.

    I am sorry, an urge came over me
    that made me do it !!!

    Oh quit whining I fell for it, too
     
  2. Rick Barker

    Rick Barker Well-Known Member

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    BB

    Glad you are back. You had us worried. M
     
  3. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

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    Thank Rick I thought I was going to be a dead penguin. Bulge.
     
  4. dmarbell

    dmarbell Active Member

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    Which reminds me of one of my favorite jokes.

    Monkey Joke.

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UO9A4p1Qsvk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
  5. CharlieAMA

    CharlieAMA TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    That was pretty funny. Glad you didn't loose your sense of humor while you were laid up. Glad your doing OK. Charlie
     
  6. Shooting Sailor

    Shooting Sailor Well-Known Member

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    It was pretty sad.There were 200 dead crows found on a highway near Halifax, Nova Scotia. There was concern raised about Avian Flu, so a bird pathologist was brought in to examine the remains of the dead birds. He was able to confirm that the cause of death was NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief. However, he determined that 98% of the birds had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% by impact with cars.

    The Provincial wildlife branch then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the reason for the disprportionate percentages between trucks and cars.

    The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "lookout crow" in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

    His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Caw", but could not say "Truck".
     
  7. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Those jokes were so bad I cannot wait for the opening of penguin and crow seasons.
     
  8. Coyote 270

    Coyote 270 Member

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    Hey, this reminds me.............Do you know why the Penquins and the Polar bears do not get along?
     
  9. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

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  10. Rick Barker

    Rick Barker Well-Known Member

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    Bears live at North Pole drinking Coke in the Winter, birds at South Pole, singing stupid songs.
     
  11. Coyote 270

    Coyote 270 Member

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    Because the Penquins are in the Antartic and the Polar Bears are in the Artic.
     
  12. chemist

    chemist Member

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    Bulge, I'm gonna blame that one on your meds. At least, I hope it was caused by meds. If not go find some to cure you, fast. welcome back.

    rich
     
  13. Rick Barker

    Rick Barker Well-Known Member

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    I'll take some if you have any to spare.
     
  14. rpeerless

    rpeerless Well-Known Member

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    Prayers answered, Bulge is back and in good spirits. Welcome back.
     
  15. Brian in Oregon

    Brian in Oregon Well-Known Member

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    <i>" Because the Penquins are in the Antartic and the Polar Bears are in the Artic. "</i>

    How many of you read the Encyclopedia Brown stories as a kid? That was the kid's nickname 'cuz he was so smart. He sleuthed out crime. The solution to one crime was finding stolen jewels hidden in an Arctic exhibit. He noticed penguins with the polar bears, and deduced the that thief planted the penguins to hide the jewels in because there are no penguins in the Arctic.
     
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