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Dead Duck

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by avery53, Aug 25, 2013.

  1. avery53

    avery53 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    673
    Location:
    Northern Michigan
    Joke of the day--"Dead duck"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
    she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
    stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

    After a moment or two, the vet
    shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
    has passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed,
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
    the vet..

    "How can you be so sure?" she
    protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
    something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned
    around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
    with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
    in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
    front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
    top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
    shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog on the
    head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
    returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
    delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
    back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
    strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the
    woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
    definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
    produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..



    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
    cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
    the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
    Cat Scan, it's now $150."
     
  2. hmb

    hmb Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,411
    How much of that will Obamacare pay? HMB
     
  3. CalvinMD

    CalvinMD Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,861
    Location:
    Northeastern MD @ the top o the Bay
    They overlooked the Louisiana examination method..your thumb up the ducks butt to see if you get one last quack
     
  4. bigbore613

    bigbore613 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    4,469
    Or tell if its from longiyland! LOL. Jeff