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Craig's List Ad.............

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by bgf, Nov 15, 2012.

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  1. bgf

    bgf Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,589
    Location:
    Prescott Valley, Arizona
    Craig

    AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

    Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't

    it?!

    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

    After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

    Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

    The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

    In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution
    is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

    Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,

    Alex

    Ohrah...

    Bernie
     
  2. Setterman

    Setterman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2007
    Messages:
    11,164
    probably not true, but funny.
     
  3. wayneo

    wayneo Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,002
    How many times does this have to go around??????????

    Wayne
     
  4. Barry C. Roach

    Barry C. Roach Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,209
    Location:
    Scottsdale, AZ
    old. but funny.
     
  5. Bisi

    Bisi TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,399
    I've seen it several times, but I still enjoy it.

    Thanks for posting it.
     
  6. mbm5770

    mbm5770 Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2012
    Messages:
    243
    It was half believable until you got to the fuel fill up's. Piece of crap like that wouldn't have credit cards to do that.
     
  7. PatMiles

    PatMiles Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2011
    Messages:
    2,873
    Other people's credit cards... he stole them. LOL


    Pat
     
  8. stokinpls

    stokinpls Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    6,489
    The libs hate it because they were rootin' for the holdup artiste and he lost his EBT card.

    After "winning" the election, you'd think they'd be in a better humor.

    Bob Falfa
     
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