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Costco

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Ahab, Jan 18, 2010.

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  1. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,650
    Trip to Costco

    Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and
    was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
    no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in
    the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
    of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets
    and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try
    it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

    Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

    Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
     
  2. fssberson

    fssberson Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,375
    Here's your sign. Fred
     
  3. W.P.T.

    W.P.T. TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    8,371
    You think thats fun, try going into the changing rooms where you try on clothes and holler out, "Hey, theres no toilet paper in here" and see what happens ... WPT ... (YAC) ...
     
  4. hmb

    hmb Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    9,412
    They seem perfectly normal to me. HMB
     
  5. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    15,642
    Location:
    Green Bay Wisconsin
    Move the "wet floor" sign to the carpet sales area.

    HM
     
  6. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,049
    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Ahab, you no godd son of a gun, I was behind that lady in line with a cart full of Depends the cart was full was i embaressed
     
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