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CHILDREN WILL AGE ANY PARENT!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by senior smoke, Oct 26, 2010.

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  1. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    HELLO:
    In the past, I have written about my three grandchildren, ages 6, 4,and 2. My wife and I have 2 adult children and as any parent knows children are great but sometimes they will do and say things that will age you. My daughter picked up her told oldest boys one afternoon from school and as they were driving back home it started to rain very hard. My daughter was driving and traffic was picking up around 3:45pm. My daughter looks in her rear view mirror and sees her 4 year old son Caleb with his head tilted back, and his eyes fluttering in the back of his head. My daughter got scared as she thought he was having a seizure. She yells Caleb are you ok? no answer, she ask again, Caleb are you ok? No answer again. My daughter pulls over to the right of traffic, it's pouring rain, she gets out of the van opens the side door and yells Caleb are you ok? Caleb tilts his head forward and says to his mom, What? She said are you ok, what's wrong ? He said my eye balls were itching. She yells at him, don't you ever do that again! I thought you were having a seizure!

    Kids, I have often told my wife that children deduct at least 20 years off a parents life. But they also add enjoyment at times. Remember Art Linkletter's tv show, kids say the darnest things? When my son was maybe 3 or 4 years old, my wife was grocery shopping and had him sitting in the cart. Suddenly an older woman stood in line directly behind them. My son loudly asked his mother "why does this lady have blue hair"? The older woman gave him a dirty look and she stood left and stood in another line. Do you have any stories or funny things your children or grandchildren have done that you would like to share them with us?
    Steve Balistreri
     
  2. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

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    Most of America's populace think it improper
    to spank children, so I have tried other methods
    to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.

    One that I found effective is for me to just take
    the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.

    Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop
    misbehaving after our car ride together.

    I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

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    ahab_2008_030335.jpg
     
  3. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    This happened a long long time ago. My son was around the age of 4 and he is 42 now.

    It was the age of the hippie and we were out at the Mall shopping. While walking from one store to another, my son spotted this hippie. He had long hair, a goatee and was wearing a cape with a hood on it.

    My son got all excited and said, "Dad, Dad, there's Jesus".

    I still crack up when I think about it.

    Hauxfan!
     
  4. wolfram

    wolfram Well-Known Member

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    It is true that our kids challenge us and if you were foolish enough to keep score of good behavior Vs trying times you probably wouldn't like the balance.

    Thing is when those sweet little voices tell you they love you all is forgiven and your life is the better for it.

    One of my great memories is of my then 6 year old daughter coming around an isle in the hardware store with a toilet plunger stuck on the top of her head loudly anouncing the arrivial of 'the plunger headed hero'. (a character in the Vegetale cartoons). I remember that like it just happened about an hour ago.
     
  5. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

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    Hauxfan, your story remind me of my niece. I was in the grocery store and ran across my sister and her oldest daughter (around 4 at the time) when a friend came by who was sporting a white beard. My niece got all excited yelling for Santa Claus. This was in one of the summer months. lol

    Bill
     
  6. gotbass

    gotbass Member

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    my wife and I have bickered back and forth for the whole 40 years we have been married, its just the way we are. About 30 years ago we were in a campground in Utah and were in our usual rare form and having a good time poking at each other and a little girl about six years old comes up and tugs on my wife's sleeve and say's "Don't you guys ever get along?" Cracked us up. She belonged to a family with about five kids down the way and I suspect she had never heard her folks say anything but yes dear and no dear to each other. We still laugh about it and still never get along.
     
  7. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Great stories so far. I thought of another two stories, so here it goes.

    On a nice summer day all of us were outside enjoying the weather. Suddenly my wife ask me where's our 4 year old son Brian? I call for Brian, no answer. I am walking behind the house calling his name and no answer. As parents know your worse fears start going through your mind. Than my neighbor says where is her 4 year old son Jesse? She said they were just playing together? We had half the neighborhood calling their names, looking for them. My wife and I are attempting to not get frantic. The neighbor lady is starting to cry. We are wondering should be call the police? My wife starts crying, and I am really getting nervous. We had over 20 neighbors that day in our yard, as well as my elderly neighbors yard all looking for them. My elderly neighbor George said use the phone in my house to call the police. As we are walking past his large kitchen window we look in, low and behold my son Brian and my neighbor's boy Jesse are standing inside George's house in front of his kitchen table, watching everyone frantically looking for them in his yard. We didn't know if we should hug both of them or yell at them? They walked into our neighbors house without permission, and decided to sit at his kitchen table, as they never was in his house before. We made sure both boys knew never walk into someones house again without permission, and never leave our yard again without telling their mother or father. My wife, and I, and my neighbors, aged around 20 years that day.


    Shortly after the above happened, our 13 year old Basset hound got sick and died. This dog was part of the family and it was very difficult for a while for all of us. A few months go by and my wife says it's time to look for another dog. That day we purchased a little Terrier. About a month later my son frantically runs into the kitchen stating he can not find Muffin? We searched the entire house, we searched outside, no Muffin. The neighbors once again got involved and we are calling out her name throughout the neighborhood. My 4 year old son and my 8 year old daughter and my wife are now crying, as it is time to go to bed, and the only thing I could possibly think of was that one of our children left the door open and she ran away. This originally happened around 6pm and now it is 10pm. My children are crying, I can hear my wife crying in bed . Suddenly we hear a sound like a dog crying????????? Earlier in the day my son Brian was sitting in the living room recliner. Muffin must have been sitting underneath his legs and feet as he had the recliner fully extended. When he got out of the chair and closed the recliner Muffin must have gotten swept under the chair. She was not hurt, and she did not make a sound for roughly 4 hours. When we opened the recliner she sheepishly came out from underneath the chair and it was like Christmas morning. We fed & gave her water, as my family started to cry from being happy that she was found. I will never forget these two episodes from when my kids were small.
     
  8. Landshark

    Landshark Member

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    If I knew then what I know now, I would have had a vasectomy when I was 16 years old. One is enough for me.
     
  9. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    Landshark:
    I have days that I feel the same way. I know a young guy who recently had their first child. He said to me" If I could afford 10 children I would have them. I laughed inside because he doesn't yet know the expense, the worry, and good times he will have. I told him, when your children are small you have small problems. The older they get, the problems get bigger.
    Steve
     
  10. timb99

    timb99 Well-Known Member

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    We lived in Thailand from the time my daughter was 6 months old, until well after her 4th birthday. I as there on a work assignment.

    In Thailand, there is a fairly substantial population of "katoeys." A.k.a. he-she's.

    Some are just cross dressers, some take female hormones, some get the full plumbing retrofit.

    One time we were at a hotel pool, and there were three of them in the pool, swimming. If you didn't know better, you wouldn't be able to tell they weren't women until you heard them speak. Definite male voice, but, quite frankly, bodies that looked good in a two-piece bathing suit. Sometimes the facial features would give them away.

    My daughter was about 3 at the time, and she was close enough to hear them speak, and she said to me, "Daddy, why do those daddies look like mommies?"
     
  11. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    Just 2 days ago, I was in the ladies room when a little 2 year old voice from the stall next to me says to her mommy "Mommy, are you pooping?" (LOL!)

    When my daughter was just 3, I took her on one of many visits to the ice cream store for some soft-serve. It was a sweltering and humid day in Maryland, yet she insisted on eating outside. So we sat on the curb and she took her first lick of the cone (which was already melting). Her ice cream came out of the cone and fell on the pavement. She looked down at it and clearly said "damn it." Then she looked up at me (as if I would know...*blush*) and asked "Mommy, what does Damn It mean?"

    My ex and I were expecting our daughter at the same time as 4 other couples that were freinds of ours were also expecting. My husband and one other had a terrible habit of constantly using the worst language possible, and we were all having a discussion about curbing it before the babies came along. The guys made a concerted effort to clean up their potty mouths EXCEPT when my friend's husband was in heavy traffic. Most of us know what DC area traffic is like, and he was the one who picked up the kid after school. A few years go by and my friend's husband thinks to himself that his little girl is getting old enough that he had better work harder at curbing his language in the car as well. That same day, he's bringing his daughter home from day care when somebody cuts him off and he almost has an wreck. He bites his tongue and from the back of the car comes a little voice "ASSHOLE!"

    My mom and aunt had taken my eldest, who was 4 at the time, on a trip up north via automobile. On the way back to Florida on I-75, my mom was driving and came across one of those destination mileage signs. She read it out loud "275 miles to Miami" (the mileage is a guess...can't remember). My son says "I didn't know you had an Ammy, Grammy. What is that?"
     
  12. Butler

    Butler TS Member

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    Well as they say Insanity is hereditary(sp), you get it from your kids. Butler
     
  13. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    These are so funny. When my mother in law was living my kids had some type of colorful bird that a friend of my wife gave them. After we agreed to take it off her hands we found out that this type of bird could possibly live to a 100 years old. This bird could copy almost anything you said. One day my wife invites her mother Vi over for lunch. As we are all eating lunch, out of no where this bird says "Vi's a Bit--h". The silence at the kitchen table was unbelievable. My mother in law gave me an evil stare. I said I have no idea where that bird picked that up? My 5 year son said "Grandma, my daddy says that all the time"! I quickly said Brian I have never said that ! He said, yes you do! I gave this bird to a family relative right after that. This was 23 years ago and this bird is still living??????
    Steve
     
  14. Hauxfan

    Hauxfan Well-Known Member

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    Well, Senior Smoke............Was she???

    Inquiring minds want to know.......lol

    Hauxfan!
     
  15. recurvyarcher

    recurvyarcher Well-Known Member

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    My eldest son's first words after he learned to say Mamma and Dada were "Damn Dog."


    We were at a New Year's Eve party in 1998. My daughter was just shy of 5 yrs old, and our friends had invited us over after having just moved to Maryland from Boston (we lobbied them hard to move near us, so they did). They had other friends in the area, this couple that had twin boys that were 6. The twins were all over the place and LOUD. My daughter has always been very reserved and well-behaved...she sat watching the boys with interest for about half an hour. When there was a break in the adult conversation, she went over to their father and said "You know, you really SHOULD teach your boys to be a little more quiet." LOL! She's a pip-squeak right now...only stands 4'11" as a 17 year old. She was REALLY tiny back then. That man and his wife laughed really hard, and he said to Sara "You know, I think you're right," and to this day we are all really close friends. He still tells the story every time we get together.
     
  16. oskerspap12

    oskerspap12 Active Member

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    Thats a good question...............Why did she have blue hair? YUKYUK

    D.P.Reynolds
     
  17. Coyote 270

    Coyote 270 Member

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    15, 16 years ago or so, we had a Yellow Lab named Rex. Rex was an excellent Kids dog and followed the two boys where ever they went on the small farm we had at the time. Well, as always happened, Rex was playing with the boys and keeled over and passed away (due to Heartworms, according to the vet) Anyway I pull up just after poor Rex bites the dust and the wife and two boys are quite upset and I get the four wheeler and the wagon and tell the boys that we will go bury Rex. Well, it is January, cold, the ground is frozen and there is no digging a grave with out the use of Mechanical means. So I tell the boys that I will get the backhoe from next door tomorrow and we will get this done. So, about 4 days later I get home and the boys come running up to me when I get home, both as happy as they can be and telling me that Rex is OK because his eyes are open..........Ya, you quessed it, I had forgotten about Rex and he was still in the wagon down at the end of the field. Poor ole Rex got buried that night for sure..........
     
  18. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    My mother in law was a good woman. I don't think she liked that I took her daughter from her though. And the reason the old woman had blue haIR SHE DYED IT AND IT HAD A BLUE TINT TO IT.
    Steve
     
  19. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

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    While stationed at MacDill AFB Fl we(my wife) decided to go shopping at the new mall. My kids wanted to watch folks throw pennies in the fountain which had no rim or curb and since I would be at the window while my wife was inside I thought it would be ok. My six year old son decides that one coin didn't do in deep enough so reaches for it to throw in deeper. Little did he realize that it was much deeper than he thought and went right in. My eight year old yells daddy and I had already seen that he was ok and stepped into the store and had a clerk to page their mother as her son had fallen in the fountain. As you might imagine, there weren't no action in our bedroom for a few days. For a long time my wife didn't realize that I was the one who had her paged as she thought my oldest son had it done. As you might have gathered, I hated going to the mall. LOL Jackie B.
     
  20. over the hill

    over the hill Active Member

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    My daughter was born 1 month past my 50th birthday. (Not reccomended)

    She never could be contained in a car seat. Doctor said duct tape her in. Not a good idea in my thinking. We didn't.

    One time while my wife was returning from a church camp, she noticed paper coming out of the rear window.

    She had managed to slide down in the seat and get into my wifes purse.

    It wasn't paper she was throwing out the window, it was greenbacks.

    My wife never told me how much, still don't want to know.

    To this day she hugs her purse in front of her.

    I still cant laugh when she tells the story.




    Regards....Gerald
     
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