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CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT!!!!

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by senior smoke, Mar 7, 2008.

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  1. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    hello:
    For you young folks who are scratching their heads wondering what I am talking about: johnny carson played "CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT" he would open an envelope and read the answer to a question. then after reading the answer, he would tell you what the question was.
    1.)the answer is gun powder, wads, and shot. question is-name 3 things most shooters can no longer afford to buy.
    2.) answer is el passo-question is, what does a mexican football player do when he doesn't el runno?
    3.)answer is long john silver-question is- what do you call money put aside to buy winter underwear?
    4.) answer is tea cup-question is-what is the largest bra size known to man?

    if you remember any others, please share them. if you would like to make some up, please do so.
    steve balistreri
     
  2. Lone Gunmen

    Lone Gunmen TS Member

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    Answer: 'Yassir Arafat'. Question: What does Dolly Parton mutter while struggling to put on her bra?
     
  3. ljutic73

    ljutic73 Well-Known Member

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    Answer:....sissss....booom...baaaahhhh. Question: What sound does an exploding sheep make?......after that, Ed McMahon was howling with laughter, Carnac was trying to keep it together and failing, Doc Severinson and the band were rolling on the floor and the audience was goin' nuts. It may have gotten the wildest responce ever for Carnac.....never been anyone better than Johnny!!
     
  4. Bisi

    Bisi TS Member

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    For some reason here is one I've always remembered.

    Answer: JohnPaul, Lifeboy, Chuck Barris. Question - name a pope, a soap, and a dope.

    For the youngsters - Chuck Barris was a dopey clown who ran a game show called the "Gong Show".

    Bisi
     
  5. admiral Art

    admiral Art TS Member

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    Ljutic73 AMEN:

    Carson to arnold Palmer's wife:

    "Do you do anything special before he plays a tournament to wish him luck?"

    Mrs. Palmer: "I kiss his balls"

    Carson says deadpan: "I bet he swings a stiff putter".

    (Mrs. Palmer was NOT amused.)
     
  6. Chris

    Chris TS Member

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    <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BddmnJ161MA"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BddmnJ161MA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
     
  7. Chris

    Chris TS Member

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    <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/agFe6h2GvRU"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/agFe6h2GvRU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
     
  8. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    I'm cracking up with all of these!
    steve balistreri
     
  9. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

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    I'm cracking up with all of these!
    steve balistreri
     
  10. Onceabum

    Onceabum TS Member

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    This may not be exact but it's close:

    Answer: "Dippity Doo" and Ed repeats "Dippity Doo."

    Question: "In the morning, what do you find on your Dippity?"

    I about fell out of the chair when I heard that one. HaHaHa

    Booger
     
  11. jevoliva

    jevoliva Member

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    I found the sis boom bah one:

    <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bRLnYdIkCTU"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bRLnYdIkCTU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
     
  12. new loader

    new loader Member

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    Q: What can you say about a goat named Earl?
    A: Earl Butz

    (see link for Earl biography) Never a dull moment when he was around.
     
  13. KenC

    KenC Member

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    Those were 'side achers'.

    He was THE MAN.
     
  14. mixer

    mixer Well-Known Member

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    A. Bat's in the belfry. Q. Where is Sheriff Masterson?



    Eric
     
  15. Jerry944t

    Jerry944t Well-Known Member

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    He was absolutely the best. I'm still laughing at some of those clips. His animal segments were priceless and the great looking blond (someone help me with this) was amazing when they did their skit.
     
  16. bill1949

    bill1949 Well-Known Member

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    Carol Wayne was the original "Blonde" on Carson. After she drowned in Mexico there was another blonde I can't recall the name...Bill
     
  17. bigbore613

    bigbore613 Active Member

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    Natalie Wood, What kind of wood doesn't float .
     
  18. new loader

    new loader Member

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    The woman with the animals is Joan Embery from the San Diego zoo.
     
  19. Robert Long

    Robert Long Member

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    The answer: SMU UCS UCLA


    The question: How would you spell your name after being hit by Mohamed Ali



    Rob
     
  20. Jerry944t

    Jerry944t Well-Known Member

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    Carol Wayne was who I was thinking of, thanks Bill. I had no idea she had drowned. That's just a real shame. She and Johny had many a funny skit together with her as the "matinee lady.".
     
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