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Becoming an Illegal Alien

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by southpark, Mar 22, 2007.

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  1. southpark

    southpark TS Member

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    Jan 29, 1998
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    Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes

    Senate Office Building 309 Hart Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me an d my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car. If you would provide me with an o utline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

    Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,

    Pete McGlaughlin
     
  2. grammie

    grammie TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    658
    And all you have to do once you become illegal is carry a gun dressed in body armor,,,and your host country's national gaurd will run from you!!! Also you get the added benefit of being a racist against whites,,,and people will come and pay to see you perform,,and sit there and just laugh and laugh and laugh!!!!

    As another "perk",,,you only have to work for 10 quarters to be eligible to draw benefits that were meant for someone else!!!!

    And they are so cute,,,Americans fall all over themselves to give you a blowjob!!!

    AKA Grammie..........
     
  3. buzzgun

    buzzgun Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    577
    Now grammie...a little bird told me you and your wife operate a halfway house disguised as an office cleaning company, an "Overground Railroad" that provides employment cover for illegals smuggled into the country.

    They said you're the "Harriet Tubman" of Mexico! (Talk about yer blowjobs...)
     
  4. Bisi

    Bisi TS Member

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    3,399
    Where do I sign up? By becoming illegal you will also have the right to carry 3 or 4 different IDs with you. You can in fact become 3 or 4 different people. Get drunk and wreck your uninsured vehicle into a building, and get arrested under the name Pablo. Bail yourself out tomorrow morning and go to work as Jose, and everything will be forgotten. Pablo???? my lamo es Jose.

    If your illegal around here you can start your own construction company and OSHA and the building inspectors will leave you alone. Ditto if you want to start a resturant also. Hardhats, safety shoes, scaffolding, etc... those are for gringoes. I've seen the Mexicans around here stand on the tops of their Ford Explorers and use it as scaffolding when laying brick.
     
  5. J.P.

    J.P. TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    111
    I love this thread!!! I watched some Mex laying brick on a Bob Evans here, New Years eve Sunday, in the sleet, on wet scaffolding, no hats. And our locals have to compete against them. Crock and crock, if we had taken a ball bat to them we would have been charged with high crimes in Civil Rights. I predict that it will come to pass that we all work under the table and to hell with gummint and taxes. The truly rich and successful have been at it for decades, sign me up gringo. The college kids tell me all they hear at school is "Diversity". Just what the hell does that do for our country. Cheap wages for the rich. Okay now we`ve ranted, what exactly do we do? Turn every illegal in we can? Wear dark blue windbreakers and hats with INS silk screened on them? Might be a start.
     
  6. southpark

    southpark TS Member

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