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APHORISMS FOR THE YEAR

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by porky, Aug 20, 2012.

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  1. porky

    porky TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,267
    The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would 'hate'
    to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.


    "I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors."


    "You know why a politician is like a banana?" "He comes in and first he is
    green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten."




    ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.


    Alabama state motto: At least we're not Mississippi


    Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.


    Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.


    Red meat is not bad for you, fuzzy green meat is bad for you.


    We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.


    Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


    If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you.




    Don't Drink and Drive, You might hit a bump and spill something.


    Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.


    LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES, USE BIRTH CONTROL


    Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.




    When blondes have more fun,do they know it?


    A Fool and his money are soon parted, but they can sure throw one heck of a party.




    The original point and click interface was a Colt 45.




    We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"?




    You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.




    It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
     
  2. crusha

    crusha TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,762
    "If x is the population of these here United States, and y is the degree of imbecility of the Average American, then Democracy is the theory that x times y is less than y."


    -H. L. Mencken


    (That one still hits me in the forehead like a bolt of lightning...and increasingly on election nights)
     
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