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alittle humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by George Steffes, Feb 11, 2012.

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  1. George Steffes

    George Steffes TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    149
    I handed the teller @ my

    bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
    I said "May I have large bills,

    please"

    She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the

    bills are the same size."
    When I got up off the floor I explained it to

    her....
    IDIOT

    SIGHTING
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile

    dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in

    it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working

    feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the

    passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it

    was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'

    His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

    This was at the Ford dealership in

    Canton, MS
    IDIOT

    SIGHTING
    We had to have the garage door

    repaired.
    The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was

    that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the

    opener.
    I thought for

    a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a

    1/2 horsepower.
    He shook his

    head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2

    was larger than 1/4.
    He said, 'NO,

    it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

    We haven't used Sears repair

    since.



    IDIOT SIGHTING
    My daughter and I went through the

    McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5

    bill.
    Our total was $4.25, so I

    also handed her a quarter.
    She said, 'you gave me too

    much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar

    bill back.
    She sighed and went to

    get the manager, who asked me to repeat my

    request.
    I did so, and he handed me

    back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of

    thing.'
    The clerk then proceeded to

    give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do

    not confuse the clerks at McD's.



    IDIOT

    SIGHTING
    I live in a

    semi rural area.
    We recently had

    a new neighbor call the local township administrative

    office
    to request the

    removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
    The reason:

    'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
    I don't

    think this is a good place for them to be crossing

    anymore.'

    From Kingman , KS



    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD

    SERVICE
    My

    daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a

    taco.
    She asked the

    person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
    He said he was

    sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
    -- From Kansas

    City



    IDIOT

    SIGHTING
    I was at the airport, checking

    in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
    'Has anyone

    put anything in your baggage without your

    knowledge?'
    To

    which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I

    know?'
    He smiled

    knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

    Happened in Birmingham ,

    Ala.



    IDIOT SIGHTING
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's

    safe to cross the street.
    I was crossing with an

    intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the

    buzzer was for.
    I explained that it signals

    blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded,

    'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

    She was a probation officer in

    Wichita , KS


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear

    coworker who was leaving the company due to

    'downsizing,'
    our manager commented

    cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more

    often.'
    Not another word was spoken.

    We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights

    stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I work with an

    individual who plugged her power strip back into

    itself
    and for the sake

    of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn

    on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no

    less.





    They walk

    among us......and they VOTE
     
  2. MR870

    MR870 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2011
    Messages:
    228
    That's why stupid people should not be allowed to vote or drive.A guy I work with flew to Kentucky for his mother's funeral.While going through TSA security they saw his prescription bottle of nitroglycerin pills for his heart condition.He said when the tsa guy saw the label he went into red alert.He said before he knew it guns were drawn buzzers sounded,and they were all for him.Fortunately a Air Marshall was behind him in line and stopped the TSA idiots from shutting down the airport.The coworker of mine was escorted the rest of the way with the marshall.As he checked in my coworker thanked the guy for saving him from stupidity.
     
  3. bigdogtx

    bigdogtx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    10,650
    great,,,,thanks....
     
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