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A little IRISH humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Feb 16, 2010.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

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    Location:
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    Ahh! The Irish sense of humor....

    An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman lurking in the shadows.

    'Twenty dollars," she whispers.

    Paddy had never had a hooker before, but decides -- what the hell, it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.

    They're going at it for a couple of minutes when, all of a sudden, a light flashes on them. It's a police officer.

    'What's going on here, people?' asks the officer.

    'I'm making love to me wife,' the Irishman answers sounding annoyed.

    'Oh, I'm so sorry,' says the cop, 'I didn't know.'

    'Well, needer did I,' says Paddy, 'til ya shoined dat light in her face!!!"
     
  2. donegal shooter

    donegal shooter Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
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    Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
    He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'
    She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'
    The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'
    She says, 'That he did, Father.'
    The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'
    She says, 'He said, Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
     
  3. dolphin62

    dolphin62 Member

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    Location:
    oswego, new york
    WHAT HAS 1000 LEGS AND A IQ OF 50......THE ST PATRICK DAY PARADE
     
  4. Ahab

    Ahab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    3,650
    Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
    After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?"

    Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

    The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
    Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
    The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?"
    Murphy slowly shook his head and said, "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."

    .....................................................................

    Paddy spent the evening at the pub. Since it was about closing time, paddy got up to leave...and fell flat on his face.

    He tried to get up again and fell down...not to be deterred, he crawled out the door and down the street! He had trouble getting up the stairs but was determined to get to bed.

    Next morning his wife woke him to say "Patrick called! You left your wheelchair at the pub again!"
     
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