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A JOKE FOR TODAY+++++

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by dontrys, Sep 7, 2008.

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  1. dontrys

    dontrys TS Member

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    John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop.



    As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation for fear it would turn to politics.

    As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.

    Obama was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse,"

    The second barber turned to McCain and said, "How about you?"

    McCain replied, "Go ahead, Cindy doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
     
  2. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    lol zinger
     
  3. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) TS Supporters TS Supporters

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    Good one but it sounded like another political post. Murray
     
  4. Shooting Jack

    Shooting Jack Active Member

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    Now that was funny. Good thing I didn't have my coffee in my hand when I read it. Jackie B.
     
  5. dontrys

    dontrys TS Member

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    Thought for the day



    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

    Piss on it and walk away.
     
  6. Frank C

    Frank C Well-Known Member

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    On my 60th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

    After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the shaman, and wondered what I was in for. The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2- 3.' When you do that, you will be more potent than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

    I was encouraged. As he walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

    "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4," the shaman responded, "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

    I was eager to see if it worked I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

    Immediately, I was the manliest of men.

    My wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

    And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.
     
  7. locdoc

    locdoc Member

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    Frank,

    I didn't think you were that old........:-}

    Doug
     
  8. dontrys

    dontrys TS Member

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    Just thought you might be interested in this.......

    A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
    Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a
    year.
    That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
    Damn we're good! Makes You Proud To Be An American!
     
  9. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    Frank, you put the fun back in english.
     
  10. Frank C

    Frank C Well-Known Member

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    Doug, I have the WISDOM of a 60 yr old and the body of a 30 yr old....
     
  11. Bob Schultz

    Bob Schultz Well-Known Member Supporting Vendor

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    A lady visiting her family doctor complains, "My husband just doesn't seem all that interested in sex anymore..."

    The doctor replied, "Well, I just gave Joe his annual physical exam and there is no reason he should not have sex. I have some pills that might just do the trick for you."

    He then gave the lady a small vial filled with little white pills and said, "Drop one of these in Joe's coffee after dinner and see if these do the trick."

    About a week later the lady is back in the doctor's office and asks the doctor for another vial of pills. The doctor says, "But the vial I gave you last week had 50 pills in it ...that should last you for at least 2 months!"

    She replied " We were having dinner the other night and I went to drop one pill in Joe's coffee and the whole vial full accidentally slipped into the cup."

    "Oh no!" said the doctor What happened then?

    The lady replied " Joe got real frisky and tore off all my clothes and we had great sex right there on the table!"

    " Were there any ill effects?" asked the doctor.

    The lady replied " No, only we probably won't be eating at that restaurant again for a while!"
     
  12. dontrys

    dontrys TS Member

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    My regular doctor referred me a urologist for some tests.


    The appointment was at 8:00 in the morning.


    The urologist, a woman in her early 30's, was unbelievably beautiful and sexy.


    She told me that I had to quit masturbating.


    I asked her why?


    She said, 'Because I'm trying to examine you.'
     
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