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A Friday funny

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by likes-to-shoot, Feb 5, 2010.

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  1. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2006
    Messages:
    6,093
    Location:
    Iowa
    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    David
    Bissonette



    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

    Sacha Guitry



    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
    If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

    Socrates


    Women inspire us to great things, and prevent us from achieving them.
    Anonymous



    The great question that have not been able to answer is:

    "What does a woman want?"
    Dumas



    I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.

    Sigmund Freud



    'Some people ask about the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing.She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

    Anonymous





    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
    electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

    Sam
    Kinison



    'I've had bad luck with both my wives! The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

    James Holt
    McGavra



    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you'rewrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right,
    shut up!
    Patrick Murra



    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
    once....
    Nash



    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

    Anonymous



    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    Henny Youngman



    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

    Rodney
    Dangerfield


    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.
    Next day
    he received a hundred letters. hey all said
    the same thing: You can have mine.'
    Anonymous



    First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!'
    Second Guy: ' You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
    Anonymous
     
  2. dustmaker

    dustmaker Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    90
    Lena's Divorce
    The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."
     
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