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A Bar story--Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Threads' started by Barrelbulge(Fl), Oct 5, 2009.

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  1. Barrelbulge(Fl)

    Barrelbulge(Fl) Banned User Banned TS Supporters

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    West Central Florida
    Courtesy of Foggy


    Subject: Bar story



    A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say 'What cha gonna do about it?'

    The poor little guy starts crying.

    'Come on, man, I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying.'

    'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between sobs. 'I can't do anything right.'

    'I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.

    When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.

    I left my wallet in the cab I took home.

    I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me.

    So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life,

    --- and then you showed up and drank the damn poison.
     
  2. Bruce Specht

    Bruce Specht Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Near but not in chicago
    Bulge pick up the phone and dial 1.800. HELP ME your a sick man
     
  3. Bvr Tail

    Bvr Tail Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,921
    This lonely old lady decided to go to the pet store and get a pet to help keep her company. She asked the clerk for help because she didn't really want just a normal pet.

    He said "I have just what you want....a talking centipede!!!"

    She thought he was kidding, but he guaranteed that it could talk and was very good company, so she bought it and took it home.

    Well, it came in a small box, so she decided to make this box its' home.

    She was really wanting to talk to it about something, so she opened the box and asked "Would you like to go to church with me?"

    No reply, so she left it alone for a minute.

    She went back and said to it " Well, I asked you if you would like to go to church with me, and you could at least have the decency to give me an answer!!"

    Still, no reply.

    This time she was mad and said "I knew this was too good to be true! A talking Centipede, how silly of me! I should have never let myself get tricked into buying this worthless thing. Monday morning I'm going to take this thing back and get my money back!! What do you think of that Mr. Centipede? "

    "For the last time, do you want to go to church or not?"

    Just then, a tiny voice comes from the box........"Alright already, I heard you the first time, I'm putting on my shoes!!!!!!!!"

    (From my wife's Aunt)

    Danny
     
  4. JB Logan Co. Ohio

    JB Logan Co. Ohio TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    1,327
    A pair of jumper cables came into the bar and the bartender said "I'll serve you.......but don't start anything!"

    JB=Jerry Beach 8503917
     
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