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38 years of shooting=some funny stories!!!!!

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by senior smoke, Oct 14, 2007.

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  1. senior smoke

    senior smoke Well-Known Member

    Sep 30, 2007
    Wauwatosa Wisconsin
    in 38 years of shooting i have seen and heard some funny things. i am not a professional wirter, but here it goes.

    #1) i have always thought that people who sell guns, could very easily sell used cars at the corner lot. one retired gun club owner had obvious eye problems. one day i bring a like new 870 all american grade trap in the box in to his store to trade on a OLD USED model 12 trap. he looks at the 870, says there is a hair line crack where the stock meets the receiver. under 10 power microscope most people could not see this hairline crack. i asked to see the model 12, on top of the stock where the stock meets the receiver there was a chunk of wood broken off, the size of a quarter. i asked him what happen to the stock where the chunk of wood is missing? he said where, i never noticed it?????

    #2) some people say that the "apple doesn't fall from the tree." the above owner's son was behind the counter one day. i trade in an 1100 trap WITH D GRADE WOOD ON IT. I tell the son, most beautiful wood i have ever seen on a 1100. he looks at it, he said "nothing special", i have seen better. i trade in the gun on an old style bt99. next week i come out to his club, the gun i traded is on the 4 sale rack with a tag, "most beautiful wood i have ever seen !!!!

    #3)one saturday, it has to be 100 degrees during the dog days of summer. no one is shooting, just a bunch of guys sitting in the shade talking. an older lady come by and said my grand daughter would like to shoot. anyone willing to help her out? people are laughing, one guy yells out, in this heat? no way, come back on a cooler day, to hot to shoot today. the grand daughter now comes with a field grade shotgun. she is around 5'7", long blond hair, fantastic tan, and lets say if you were shooting doubles, you would say, what a beautiful pair. you suddenly hear guys getting up, offering to get trap guns out of their trunks, offering free shells to help. in 100 degree heat, there had to be 10 guys trying to teach this young woman how to shoot. like i always say, trapshooters are always willing to help out a new shotter(RIGHT!!)

    #4)around 20 years ago, my best friend & i are shooting the state shoot. we get to our trap around 1 hour early. he says to me, i have to go take a dump, i will be back. so another friend and i watch him go into at portable toilet, we wait around a minute, then we sneak over and start rocking the toilet back and forth with him sitting in it and he is yelling"whats going on, i'm in here taking a dump! we turn the toilet over and run. he comes out, he's got blue all over him, he's wet. comes running up to me and told me what happened, and asked me if i knew who did this to him? i said no i didn't, and i said some people need to grow up. move forward 20 years, the same friend and i are at a different club shooting, we are in the club house, and i tell him i have to take a dump. as i am walking out of the club house another friend who i have not seen in a long time calls me over on the far right of the club. as we are talking, i see my friend leave the club house, go to the left and go to the portable toilet. he starts rocking the toilet back and forth, some big guy inside of it starts screaming, "what in the hell is wrong with you, you dumb fool? my friend said he was sorry, he thought someone else was in their. i yell to my friend, that i as over here, you big dummy!

    #5)years ago, a gun club was giving away huge porterhouse steaks, wrapped in white butcher paper, should you break a 50 straight and lose the shoot off. as i walk into the club, a friend of mine is holding one of the steaks, and said "what good is one steak"? i will flip you for yours. i said ok. i reach into my pocket, pull out a quarter, i tell him, heads i win, tails you lose, he said ok. i flip the coin, i said tails you lose. he threw the stake at me and left. rocks were flying up from his tires hitting the gun club AS HE LEFT THE CLUB PARKING LOT.

  2. FarmerD

    FarmerD TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    I'm familiar with the fourth story, as I did something similar to a friend of mine (ex friend). He was in the porta potty and I picked up a rock and threw it. He came out with his pants down to his knees and started for me. Fortunately it's difficult to run with your britches down to your knees. I stayed away from him for a couple of hours to keep from being slaughtered. LOL
  3. likes-to-shoot

    likes-to-shoot Well-Known Member

    Oct 6, 2006
    instead of throwing the rocks at the outhouse drop them down the vent into the water. LOL
  4. AJ100

    AJ100 TS Member

    Sep 6, 2006
    At a flyer shoot a few years ago the guys running the shoot were selling tickets for a meat tray. The club where the shoot was held would get the money from the raffle. The tickets were the kind on the roll that had a number on the front and a space for your name on the back. Buy one ticket or you could buy 5 for a discounted price. Really didn't matter. One of the local shooters, and one hell of a flyer shooter himself, had a few Yinglings and says " hell yes, gimme $10.00 worth of those tickets."

    All day long he wants to know when they are going to draw that meat ticket. The boys keep telling him that they will draw it that evening. Relax they tell him. The guy selling the tickets keeps going around the grounds giving out tickets and letting everyone know that it will be time do draw very shortly. Last chance, he proclaims.

    Well, this guy is all ears when they announce the winners name. Bingo, they call out his name and he is just laughing his ass off that he had the winning ticket. Tells everyone that they can come over to his place for a cookout. Then they brought out the meat tray.

    On a leash. Yep, live piglet. His tickets were the only ones in the hat.

    The story gets better. As I heard it told, the pig ended up in the back of the truck of the guy that set up the joke. The winner put it there in the middle of the night. This went on, with the pig being transfered back and forth between the winner and the prankster for quite a while. One of them would find the pig tied to the bumper of his truck when he came out of the local store. The other guy would find it next to his car after work. When the prankster tried to leave it at the winners home late one night, the guys dogs would make such a racket that they would wake him up and the lights would go on all over the house. When they found this out, they sometimes would park out front for a few minutes even if they didn't have the now larger pig with them. Just to wake the poor guy up from a sound sleep.

    All this time, they were both feeding the pig when they had it in their custody. The thing was getting larger as the weeks went by. If it wasn't for the fact that it got too big to haul around, they would still be driving this pig around town. What finally came of this pig?

    The winner and his pals, including the pratical joker that set it up, did have that cookout he promised.

  5. GP40X

    GP40X TS Member

    Jan 29, 1998
    Priceless. I had to mop the tears from laughing so hard. Great stuff; keep it coming.
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