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2008 investment tips

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Threads' started by halfmile, Oct 3, 2008.

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  1. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    15,642
    Location:
    Green Bay Wisconsin
    INVESTMENT TIPS FOR 2008

    For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

    Watch for these consolidations in 2008:

    1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
    Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

    2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and become:
    Poly, Warner Cracker.

    3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
    MMMGood.

    4.. ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
    ZipAudiDoDa .

    5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
    FedUP.

    6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
    Fairwell Honeychild.

    7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
    PouponPants.

    8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
    Knott NOW!

    HM
     
  2. Mr Newbius©

    Mr Newbius© TS Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,463
    I didn't know you could get stock in the National Order of Women.

    I wasn't aware that you could publicly trade a woman ... privately you can but I thought public trading of women was consider prostitution.
     
  3. halfmile

    halfmile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    15,642
    Location:
    Green Bay Wisconsin
    Nitpicker.

    HM
     
  4. grnberetcj

    grnberetcj Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    5,680
    Here's my "Tip" for y'all....

    Don't Cook Bacon Naked

    Curt
     
  5. dmarbell

    dmarbell Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,572
    First post reminds me of a joke I read years ago.

    There was a well-respected law firm (remember, this is a fairy tale of sorts) named Vorhees, Jolly, Jolly and Goodfellow. The Jolly brothers had a falling out, the remaining Jolly was Andrew, so they were forced to change the firm name to Vorhees, A. Jolly and Goodfellow.

    Goodfellow, true to his name, was caught covorting with a local dancer named Candi. In her younger days, Candi, aka Candace Ann Nye McDonald had actually attended law school for a time, under her maiden name. So, to shut her up, they were able to get her a mail-order law diploma, and then they were forced to change the firm name to, you guessed it already:

    Vorhees, A. Jolly, Goodfellow, and that Nobody, Candi Nye.
     
  6. shannon391

    shannon391 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    4,477
    I invested a large portion of my income into a company called the IRS but they just gave it away to bail out people and banks that bought houses they could not afford.
     
  7. gun fitter

    gun fitter TS Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 1998
    Messages:
    2,959
    The best investment you can make is a donation to the republican party and John McCain's campagine.

    Joe
     
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